Be happy okay

When you send me that conversation between you and her, that time I was 'sentap'. haha. I don't know what is your purpose to show that to me. Are you showing that to make me feel bad? or do you give me hint to stay away from you? I don't know. I just don't know what exactly you want. Till now I can't forget about it. That's why every time I want text you, I'll think hundred times before I text or reply your text. Because I'm afraid that I'm just a problem between you and her. I'm sorry. I know this will hurt you but I don't know. I need some answer. You know right? I want you to be happy because you deserved it. Even without me I know you can be happy. Just remember whenever you need me, I'll be there for you. Just tell me and I'll be there. I'm sorry that I'm not the best for you. Sorry yaya. 

Answer me

May I ask you something?

You said that you don't want to text me because of you're afraid that it might be bother me. You also said that if you don't text me, I might think that you don't care about me. I want you to know something. I don't have the right to think about you that way. I don't know how should I respond to that. I don't want to bother you. I know you're too busy on weekdays and weekend. So I think about the solution and I don't know whether you're okay with it. But I think that's the best way not to bother you. It's not like I want to leave you again but I think that's the best way for you. Just like I told you before, the reason why I contact you back because I just want to apologize. You've a better life now. So I don't want to ruin it. I'm sorry. I'm sorry that I entered your life once again. 

Let me live happily

Can I live just for a day without pain? Do I have to pretend like nothing happen? I'm so tired to live like this you know. Stop torturing me. I'm afraid that I'll do something bad.Really bad. You can't even imagine.

Can't breathe

2nd night. I still can't sleep. I'm worried. I'm scared. Everything seems so clear now. That I don't deserve to be happy. I already give up my life. I'm tired. Just take me with you will you? I don't have any strength to lose somebody again. I hate it! This is suck! Please.... I can't take it anymore. Stop testing me. You know that I can't take it anymore. I beg you. I don't have anyone. So please don't take her. Just take me instead.

Don't Let Me Down

Crashing hit a wall

Right now I need a miracle

Hurry up now I need a miracle

Stranded reaching out

I call your name but you're not around

I say your name but you're not around

I need you I need you right now

I really thought you were on my side

But now there's nobody by my side

Forever Alone

Tidak mudah untuk kita jaga hati semua orang. Sekuat manapun kita cuba untuk jaga hati seseorang itu satu hari kita pasti akan melukakan hatinya tanpa kita sedari. Untuk kekalkan hubungan memang sukar tapi untuk 'musnahkan' sesuatu hubungan itu cukup mudah. I tried to be fair but I failed. Maybe I just don't deserve to be close with somebody. Forever alone. :)

I don't need anyone

I don't need anyone. I've endured the worst times of life alone without any help from people. I can do this alone. Then why I need you again?Now? It doesn't make sense right? Your life is already perfect. I don't think I did the right thing by texting you again. I shouldn't text you at the first place. I'm sorry if I ruin your relationship with her. I'm fine. I'll be fine. I'll try to not text you first. I'll try not to interfere your life. Mark my word alright. Don't worry, I'll be alright. I always be. :)

STOP

My problems are still the same. I can't let it go. Every single night I think about that. I'm sick of it. I'm tired. Too tired. Please get out from my mind. I hate you, really hate you. You're suffocating me. I can barely breathe properly. I'm begging you. Take me with you will ya? Then it will ended my nightmare. 

Back to my extreme life

It's good to be back again after one month break. This time it's gonna be tough battle because a lot of killer subjects. and it might kill me as well. I think I'm gonna losing some hair. I guess I'm not trying so hard last semester or maybe I did but I don't know. Well, I'm going to try harder and harder this time and make sure I got what I want for this semester. Good luck to yourself . This time be prepare and don't waste your time with foolish things okay. You've to focus okay. Be good to people too. Okay, I'm going to try about that. Well, we've been planning to go to trip. Reunion with my 'old friends'. Been planning since last year but everyone were busy with their own life. So this time, I'll make sure everything will go as we plan. So I need to save my money. Hope I can save as many as I can so that we can do a lot of activities. Always want to try Skytrex. Seems pretty cool and adventure. 3 months left. Can't wait for it. Never been on trip with friends before. So I'm a little bit excited. 

Jealous and ridiculous

I just want to write something. I feel sad and broken. This is the funniest situation for me. I don't know why I feel so heartbroken. It's not like I'm in love with someone. It's complicated. I don't know what's happening to me right now. A little bit jealous I guess. So freaking ridiculous! I told myself that I don't wanna go because of my favourite TV show but obviously it's not because of that. Or maybe I feel uncomfortable because I don't check my result yet. It can be one of the reason too. Right? By the way, I need to forget about it and move on. It's not important at all. You need to focus on your study idiot!